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Encouraging Dreams & Allaying Fears
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The one sentence persuasion course teaches us that people will do anything for those who: encourage their dreams, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, throw rocks at their enemies and justify their failures.
Today we’re going to discuss the first 2, encouraging dreams and allaying fears. Manipulative brilliance lies ahead. Just do the work of reading it.
Table of Contents
Encourage Their Dreams (And Make Successful Outcomes Feel Inevitable)
People are driven by hopes, aspirations and dreams. And everyday there is a constant barrage of self-doubt and external discouragement that hammers at our hopes and desires for the future. When you validate someone’s dreams you are helping them validate some of their deepest self-identities. Not only that but you are showing them that you are on their team and want for them what they want for themselves. Being aware and validating another person’s goals instantly creates trust and loyalty. This technique works when the subject feels seen, understood and cared about. And if someone feels seen and understood they generally also feel that they are being supported.
Some Tips on How to Encourage Dreams
Don’t waste the opportunity to compliment someone by saying something bland and vacuous. Maximize the impact of your words by being specific about a trait or talent that is core to their fulfilling their goals:
NOT "You're talented."
RATHER be specific "You have a natural ability to grasp and explain complex things. That’s what separates great teachers from average ones."NOT "You're great at sales!"
RATHER make it personal, make it resonate"You instinctively know how to make people feel cared for. That’s why people trust you so quickly."NOT "You're funny!"
RATHER "Being able to make people laugh about serious topics and think about them at the same time is a rate skill. That’s why people remember what you say."
Use future pacing about the subjects success:
"Imagine 7 or 8 weeks for now, when you’re recognized as the go-to expert in your area. People will wonder what happened and ask for advice on how how you did it."
"Picture this: You walk into a room, and people already know who you are. That’s where you’re headed."
"At some point, you're going to look back and realize this was the moment everything changed."
Make their success feel inevitable, destined, or the natural order:
"You’re not just good at this, you were made for it!"
"You can feel it, can’t you? Like you were always meant for something bigger."
“Can’t wait to say, ‘I knew you before you were famous.’”
“This is exactly how all great [writers, entrepreneurs, artists] start.”
"This isn’t just a goal. This is who you are."
Extra tip: When encouraging someone’s goals, dreams and desires it can be very effective to use presupposition statements, ie. speak as if the outcome or success is already unfolding. Some presupposition statements are:
“Once your book becomes a bestseller, how will you celebrate?”
“As you continue to grow in your field, what kind of impact do you want to have?”
“Since your hard work is already paying off, what’s the next big step for you?”